On the day that Princess Diana died, I went to see Austin Powers at the cinema. I'm not sure whether I am ashamed of that fact or proud of it. The cinema was empty, but at least I escaped the media deluge for a couple of hours. My point is that I have never cared very much about the Royal Family. For me they are at worst an irritation, at best a soap opera – and not a very good one, at that. I am about as interested in them as you are in Plus belle la vie.

I love a conspiracy theory, however, and the announcement of Prince William's engagement to Kate Middleton came at an interesting moment. When the news emerged, I posted the words «bread and circuses» on Facebook. It refers to the methods Roman emperors used to distract the people from the decline of the empire. Keep your citizens fat, happy and entertained and they will abandon thoughts of revolution. Can it be a coincidence that the royal announcement came amid student riots and Prime Minister David Cameron's austerity measures? The British media certainly seemed to fall for the plan.

I mentioned my disdain for the monarchy to my wife, adding that I found the perfectly named Middleton boring. She called me a snob. Maybe that's true: there's something patronising about my dislike of soap operas. And at least the royals fill magazine columns – even this one.

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