A few years ago zombies were relics of B-movie cinema, notably a bunch of George Romero films from the 1970s. But suddenly zombies are back from the... well, dead. I just saw World War Z, in which Brad Pitt tackles the ghoulish hordes. Of course, the movie isn't really about zombies at all: it's about the march towards global overpopulation and what happens when humans encroach on the habitats of wild animals, leading to the birth of nasty cross-species viruses.

During the current heat wave, overcrowding is a problem one becomes distinctly aware of. Or perhaps I should say "stinkily aware of", to judge from the odour on the métro on a Friday evening. But there are other signs of impending breakdown. The heat makes some people grouchy and aggressive. It makes others sexually predatory (all that naked flesh - yummy). The streets outside bars become crowded with beer-drinkers. Mineral water vanishes from supermarket shelves. Air conditioning units are turned up to the max, resulting in power cuts. Which can cause unrest. There is a theory that when systems break down, we're only two days away from civil chaos.

Of course, in August, everybody will leave Paris and the city will become a peaceful oasis. The crowds will take to the airports and the autoroutes, the hotels and the beaches. Stay calm on your vacations, folks. You don't want to be mistaken for zombies.

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